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You never stop missing your parents, but I am so grateful that getting clean gave me perspective on the important relationships and they both knew how much I loved them.Īt the time I met Gela, I needed someone who loved me just for me. I was entirely present and I could be a rock for my father. I wasn't disappearing or sliding down the sofa. I was out of control.īeing sober when my mother passed away was the most profound experience of my life. I kind of did, but then you don't count on the drugs and the alcohol. I had a hard time shaking off the hysteria of fans and pop stardom and slotting into family life. In my 30s I was struggling to evolve into a responsible adult male. I don't want them not to need me anymore. There is never a point in parenting where you think that everything is sorted, but I wouldn't want there to be. It sounds such a gentle word, but blending families is a huge challenge. My wife, my ex-wife and I all do the best we can, but it is uphill.
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I often think whatever you have to do to stay together, just try. I have a lot of friends who have been through breakups. As a nuclear unit, you can do so much – good cop, bad cop, interchangeable parenting. I loved spending time with her, but once I separated from her mother I knew there was a certain quality of parenting she would never get. Witnessing Atlanta's birth could not have been more perfect.
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They were so proud, but I was so off my head and angry and confused that I just lost it. One Christmas I went home to find four sacks of fan mail. I still have people telling me they went to Simon Road one afternoon in 1983 and Mum gave them tea and biscuits and Dad drove them to the station. They took those memories to the grave.įans were always turning up at the house. They went up the Empire State building and to Disney World and stayed in a five-star hotel. When we played Madison Square Gardens in 1984, we flew all the band's parents out. Becoming the biggest Duran Duran fan gave Mum a new lease of life. They had no ambition for themselves but had so much confidence in me. My parents took huge pleasure in my career. I just wanted to spend all day reading the NME and hanging out in record stores. If there was a letter home, I would forge their signatures. I wouldn't go to school for days on end and they never heard about it. When my daughter and stepchildren were going through school, we got to know teachers, did PTA meetings, soccer coaching. Whenever we brought it up, he would just say he couldn't follow Jean, she was perfection. He was a good-looking guy and after Mum died in 1988, Gela and I thought we'd be able to set him up with someone. They got that and they were extraordinarily grateful.ĭad adored my mother. They wanted work, someone to share their life with, their own home and a child.
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Dad knew my mum's brothers and they planned it together. Their generation didn't have today's high expectations of relationships and life. My parents grew up on the same working-class Birmingham street. After my parents died, I found a beautiful little notebook from the late 40s in which she had painstakingly handwritten the words to about 50 popular songs. There was never a sense it was something we could do – no instruments or lessons – but she loved to put the radio on and sing along. When I got my first electric guitar, I wasn't happy with the look of it, so he found me some ermine white, left over from his second beloved Ford Cortina, and helped me spray it. As a child, interests often come out of the desire to be close to a parent, and we spent hours bonding over Airfix kits. He could line curtains, put up shelves – he loved a project. Dad was tightly buckled up, not expressive with his feelings, but he was such a sweet guy.